Congratulations on coming out as a transgender woman this Pride season! Now what? As a transgender woman who’s been out for six and a half years, I hope this blog post offers some helpful advice.
Don’t panic
Don’t panic and go back into the closet. You have done the hardest part, coming out in public. Things in real life here in the UK are nowhere near as bad as social media says.
Yes, you might lose friends, you might even lose contact with family, I certainly did. BUT you will gain new friends, and the community can become like family.
Seek out an LGBT support group.
Here in the UK, there are loads of support groups for LGBT people. In the town where I live, the local Green Party meets up once a month at the local Geek Retreat. A lot of so-called geeks are very LGBT friendly, just like a lot of D&D groups are also.
These groups can become a rock and a lot of support.
Go to Charity Shops for clothes
During what we call your baby trans phase, you will change your look a lot. This can become expensive, so have a look at charity shops for clothes. In fact, I would say 90% of my clothes still come from a charity shop. Not only will you save a lot of money, but also help the environment.
You will look back at photos of your baby trans phase and cringe, as you will become hyper-feminine. This is normal as you are finally getting to express all the hidden emotions you have hidden for years.
Take photos of yourself regularly.
Start to take photos of yourself at regular intervals. That way, you will be able to see the changes in yourself over time. This will become important after a year or two, as you will think you have hit a brick wall as you think nothing is happening, especially when you eventually do start HRT.
Get on the waiting list for HRT ASAP.
Ask your GP to get you on the NHS waiting list as soon as possible. The current list is years long, so the sooner you are on it, the better.
While most GP’s will do this for you, some won’t. If yours doesn’t, then change GP.
If you can, go private while you are on the list.
Going private for HRT is not as expensive as it seems, as long as you have a GP that will help you. If you don’t, again change GP!!
For me, I am with Gender GP and my GP helps with shared care, so does the blood tests and prescribes me the HRT. It costs me £30 per month. While the initial setup fee was expensive (I sold my PS4 to be able to start it), it is worth it.
This way, you are not always checking the NHS waiting list and worrying about it.
Most importantly, stay safe.
In the current political climate, we are a political football. This can also affect the general public’s attitude towards us, though not as much as you think. In the last six years, I have had two instances of transphobic abuse directed at me. Don’t let this put you off.
Also, transgender people are more likely to be sexually and mentally abused, so use common sense and make sure someone knows where you are at all times. If someone feels off, ignore them or tell them no.
Conclusion
First off, if you have just come out, WELL DONE. Welcome to the sisterhood, girl!
For me, coming out as a transgender woman at the age of 44 was the best thing I have done for myself. 99% of other transgender people feel the same way.
While this will consume you at first, after a while you will settle down and be comfortable with who you are. This will be a big relief as you can start to live the life you should have always wanted. You will look back at the photos of your baby trans phase and cringe, I certainly do at mine!!
The most important thing is you are happy in yourself, no matter what any one else says
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