Kira Herdman

This week marks the 23rd month I have been on HRT. I can’t believe next month is 2 years since I started, how time flys ! !

This month I want to go through the mental changes I have gone through since starting HRT all those months ago.

Before I started HRT

I understand that the majority of transgender people aren’t on HRT. When I wasn’t I envied those who were. Watching the NHS waiting list is a painful experience.

I went private (GenderGP with Shared Care) as I couldn’t stand the wait. It was getting so bad for me I was thinking of ending it all.

So I know what you are going through.

Just hang in there; if you need to talk, then find someone who will listen. My outlet was a psychosexual therapist from my local sexual health clinic, who was amazing for me. She even helped me get started by writing a letter to my GP about me. Also, a transgender friend also helped a lot; she is, and always will be, a very special friend to me.

First 6 months.

The first 6 months I would say is the hardest. After coming down from the euphoria of finally starting HRT I just wanted things to happen. They didn’t. Nothing really happened until about month 4, when my boobs started to hurt a little. While this was obviously good news it still wasn’t was I was hoping.

It takes time for things to happen. You just have to be patient.

While this was going on, I did notice my mind was more settled, well as settled as someone who has PTSD can be.

My relations in this period was none existent, as I was still unsure what my sexuality was.

6 Months onwards.

Since my body has started to change with the effects of HRT, I have become a lot more comfortable with myself. While it took me a long time to realise although I identify as a Lesbian, I prefer to have no label on myself.

I still have down turns, where I am just fed up with everyone and everything however. My friend, who is also a transgender woman, pointed out this could be thanks to the period pains that CIS women go through. Yes, Transgender Women still get them. Our mood also changes at that time to be more shall we say ratty.

I tracked when I had these moods over the next few months and she was correct, they happened about every 28-30 days and lasted a few days to a week.

But overall I am very happy with where my body, and mind is right now.

Conclusion

I would advise anyone who is starting HRT to be patient; things take time, but they will happen.

If you are a transgender woman, then expect to get period pains and mood changes, but also expect to smile more; women will approach you more often and be accepting more than the mainstream media portrays you will be. I now find it a lot easier to make friends with women than I do men, and will ALWAYS be suspicious if a man approaches me or wants to be my friend. I do find most men, in general, to be more scary now, where before I didn’t.

I have also heard of transgender men getting more bad-tempered, but also being more accepted in public than trans women are. Also expect to nod a lot more when passing other men in public.

You are on a wild ride, but you will never want to get off it.